


Remember My Name

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mermaidstuck, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-19
Updated: 2014-04-19
Packaged: 2018-01-20 01:11:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1491211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There has always been something off in Dave Strider's life since The Accident that took the life of his best friend, left him in a coma, and erased every memory and the exsistence of said best friend from his mind.<br/>As phantom memories emerge from forgotten depths of his mind, things quickly get out of hand.</p>
<p>Mermaids, messages in bottles, and a long lost love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember My Name

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first shot at writing a multi chapter fic!! I have had this idea floating around in my mind for like a year???  
> Thank you for clicking and enjoy reading!

It was finally summer break and you finally had two whole months away from your small, dreary high school. With one more year of education under your belt, it was time for you to start preparing for another stressful year that would mirror the last. All those thoughts were pushed from your head though, haphazardly thrown out the window when you were saying your final goodbyes for the summer to grouchy teachers who all wanted to leave just as bad as the teenagers who loitered the halls as they cleaned out cluttered lockers. You would never forget the intensity of the roar that came from the student body when the bell clanged noisily for the final time that year. Jade had squealed happily as she jumped around like an excited puppy, and Rose just smiled warmly as her hand found yours and she squeezed lightly. 

You stood quietly as everyone else was celebrating wildly around you. You did not say a word because even with everyone’s happy shrills around you; you still had this feeling of sadness floating around you like smoke. There was something wrong with this picture: Jade, Rose, Roxy and you standing (or jumping in Jade’s case) around waiting your turn to exit the school with heavy bags full of binders and books as summer vacation started.

“Something feels wrong.” You quietly mumble, your thoughts becoming vocal as you turn to where Rose is still standing beside you, conversing with your other sister, Roxy, beside her.

She jolts as your blunt statement makes it to her ears. She is no longer making a sound, and everyone else around you seems to pause too. Even Jade has calmed down, and she notices everyone has stopped. “What’s wrong?”

You grimace, your hands folding into fists. “Something is wrong with this situation.” Your voice is rough with confusion and sadness. Now it is Jade’s turn to jolt, and her body language suddenly resembles someone who had just been backhanded violently. Tears well up in her eyes and her voice shakes. “Dave…”

“Hey, Jade, chin up. It is summer vacation now, is it not? It is time for fun and relaxation!” Rose butts in, having found her voice. Roxy adds, “Onward to ice cold drinks, the warm sun and most importantly, lots of fun!” Rose gives Jade a look that completely goes over your head.

Jade takes a deep breath and recollects herself. She woops and throws a fist into the air with a bounce. “Yes! Together, we are going to have the best summer yet!” 

The word “together” sticks to you like residue. The word feels as if it is empty and unfulfilled and is fuel to the fire that is causes the haze of smoke to hang around you.

***  
You had been in your own world for the whole first week of summer break. It was spent catching up on exam-induced sleepless nights, dicking around on the internet, talking to Rose, Jade, and the rest of your friends and your other siblings until you all got too personal and weird, and sitting and thinking about what happened this year that you would like to improve for the next. Unfortunately your memory was a swirling tide of black, and it was way too late at night (too early in the morning?) to think clearly. That was when you decided it was time to sleep and would stay in a lucid state until your mother roughly woke you up the next morning, saying you weren’t allowed to waste away your summer sleeping. 

Everyone under your roof started to get restless quickly after the break started. Roxy vocalized her complaints, suggesting you all did something as a family. 

“It is really lame we are all just wasting away this summer. I think we should all go and do something fun as a family and spend some time soaking up some nice vitamin D. What do you all think?” Roxy looked around as she waited for your opinions. 

“What did you have in mind my dear?” Your mother questioned, and Rose piped up an agreement with your mother.

“Well, I mean it would be really nice to go to the beach and see the ocean and-“ Roxy froze up and went uncharacteristically quiet. Your mother and Rose both had their eyebrows sky high, their similar dark painted lips pulled down into concerned frowns. They have all stopped breathing it seems, and are looking at you. During all of this, you pull an awkward face and start to wring your hands. You are the first to break the silence. “The beach, huh?”

All the girls flinch and wait with baited breath for you to continue. You don’t give them the satisfaction and Roxy is quick to fix things. “Well, I mean, we don’t um, have to go to a beach, I was only throwing the idea out there and, uh-“ you quickly flash step to her and place your finger to her lips to quiet her. Her hair sways with the wind your fast movement created and she doesn’t say another word.

“It is fine. I mean, when was the last time we went to the beach? It seems like the last time I set foot on a beach was in a past lifetime.” Roxy’s eyebrows crinkle and she looks sad. What did I just say? You quickly throw that thought from your mind and give your mother and your sisters a once over as you smirk. “I need to work on my tan anyways.”

***  
Plans were half-assed efficiently enough and soon your family were all headed to the beach. Bro and Dirk were convinced to come along, even with their busy schedules of weird-penis-puppet making and robot assembling. Your Mom quickly got coolers full of cold drinks and snacks fixed up, while everyone else was running around trying to locate all the beach towels and the large beach umbrella that would provide shade. While your family was locating things necessary to have a good time at the beach downstairs noisily, you were in your room, digging through your messy closet trying to find some swim trunks. With a triumphant cry you pull the trunks out of the bottom of your closet where they were abandoned who knew when. 

When you remerge downstairs to join your family they are all ready to go. “Come on slow poke, we’re waiting on you!” Roxy calls out as she heads out the front door. Bro slams the car trunk shut, securing the carefully arranged stuff in the back.

The nearest beach, Prospit beach, is an hour drive away, through quiet suburbs, untouched forest, and a small beach-side town. You have lots of happy memories coming here, from when you were little and had ice cream eating competitions with your brothers, playing in the sand making magnificent sand castles with your sisters, and splashing around in the waves together as a family. Although you have those great memories coming here, there are memories about this beach that are affected by that black swirling void that also blocks selected memories and parts of memories. You shake your head and focus on what your mom has to say.

“We’re here kiddos! Help unpack. Bro, don’t you dare leave this vehicle without helping.”

***  
For some reason you didn’t want to bring yourself to step onto the warm, golden sands. 

Rose, Roxy and Dirk all give you an expectant stare, beckoning you to come join them as they start placing down their beach towels and open the large umbrella. Mom and Bro are still unpacking stuff from the car behind you, and you hear your Mom calling your name.

“Davey dear, would you be a lamb and pick up the last cooler for me?” Mom calls out to you and Bro sniggers behind her. Your cool façade doesn’t let up at you stroll by Bro, glaring at him from behind your shades. Mom shuffles by with more stuff and you quickly follow behind with your newly acquired cooler.

Once again you are faced with the beach. This may sincerely be the realest game of “Don’t-Touch-The-Floor-It’s-Lava” not just because the sand is scalding beneath the warm summer sun, but also this unknown fear that is nipping at the back of your mind.

Taking a deep shaky breath you quickly hop stepping stone to stepping stone and make it to where your family group has set up base without dropping the cooler. 100 points for style too. As you set down the cooler, Rose glances over to you and before you know it sunscreen is being shoved your way.

“You should put some of this on before you burn.” You give her a nod of appreciation. Coming to sit with her on the towel underneath the cool shade of the umbrella, you quickly start to rub in the lotion all over your body, starting with your face. 

“Thanks. I didn’t plan on becoming a lobster today.” Rose brings her hand up to her face to hide her smile at your silly response.

“We have such a nice view of the ocean here, and listen! You can hear it too, kids!” Mom startles everyone as she crows happily from her new spot on a pull-out chair underneath her sun hat.

Once again, you get an uneasy feeling as you thoughts wander back to the ocean. Snap out of it. This is totally uncool. You shake your head slightly to clear your thoughts. Unfortunately, the crashing of the waves is making your thoughts almost as loud, rivalling them as they splash to shore.

“Hey.” You are prodded by a perfectly manicured fingernail. “Are you okay Dave?” Rose looks at you expectantly, almost like she can see through your poker face and shades.  
“Yeah. Kinda. I guess.” She gives you a tight frown and you give her a small sincere smile quickly and continue. “Thanks for worrying about me though. Prodding into the depths of my brain just isn’t optimal right now.” She gives you a curt nod and turns away from you as Roxy calls out to everyone.

“Hey guys, let’s go swimming! I mean, helloooo, that is something you do at such a nice beach like this!” Roxy cheers as she pulls off her slip and practically bounces out of her flip flops. Roxy is already making a break for the water with a tight grip on Dirk’s arm before you can even answer.

Rose turns to you once more. “Would you care to join us in the water?” You start to pick at your nails, which is a bad nervous habit you picked up in the past few months. Focusing on the beach themed print on the towel you are currently sitting on, you shake your head no. With one last squeeze to your shoulders, Rose takes off her shawl and joins your other siblings in the water.

Bringing your knees to your chest and burying your face in the fabric of your swim trunks, you release a shaky sigh. You would probably be in the water enjoying the sunshine with your siblings right now if the ocean wasn’t as terrifying, in its own unexplained right.

The sound of more waves crashing into the sand rattles through your brain and soon you are clenching your fists and squeezing your eyes shut, forcing yourself not to cry. Striders didn’t cry. Striders didn’t lose their cool. Striders aren’t afraid of the ocean. You take deep, calming breaths until the tears threatening to spill have receded. 

There is movement behind you and as you turn you see Bro standing there. He opens the cooler, taking out a drink for himself. He then throws a questioning glance your way.

“Hey little man, would you like anything to drink? We got some ice cold AJ here.” Bro pulls out a bottle. 

“Yeeeeees.” You say nonchalantly, before the offending ice cold bottle is pressed to your back. Letting out a high-pitched, super uncool squeal you squirm away as Bro guffaws. “God damnit Bro! Fuck off!” You tip him over into the sand as he continues to laugh. You pick up the bottle, opening it quickly and taking a sip as you calm down from Bro’s attack.

“Well there was one other thing I came over here for.” Your throat tightens at Bro’s words. You really have a habit of making people worry. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes.” You answer too quickly to the question you predicted he was going to ask. “You know what, I might go and dip my toes in the ocean right now, that is how awesome I am feeling.” Taking one last sip, you close the bottle before ditching it on the towel and doing a quick pat check to make sure you left your phone in your other pants. Pockets empty, you head towards the ocean.

“I’m melting…” you grumble as the hot sand gets in between your toes. Soon the dry, gold sand is replaced with softer, wetter sand. The water is not that far away now, and the briny smell assaults your nostrils suddenly and relentlessly. Your eyes widen and you realize this might be harder than you assumed. The water is much more daunting up close, and once again a feeling of terror flashes through your whole body and you get this itching urge to run back to your beach towel.

Keeping your distance, you start to walk down the shore line. You can see Rose, Roxy, and Dirk all swimming and splashing each other and having fun. It was frustrating you couldn’t be in there with them having fun too, but you were enjoying the ocean just as much from where it couldn’t touch you. Yup.

As you continue your leisurely stroll down the shoreline, you start to find lots of neat treasures from the ocean. There are shells of all different shapes, sizes, and colours, beautiful beach glass smoothed over time, and rocks of all different patterns. You pick up a whole bunch of different stuff to examine it, fascinated by all the different variety. 

You spot a cave as you reach the end of the beach. It most definitely spooks you, but you definitely would never admit that to anyone. One look couldn’t hurt, either. 

You quickly peak around the corner and it is just what you expected. The cave is small, dark, and damp. The sounds of the waves are amplified in the small space. You laugh to yourself. Did you actually think anything cool was going to be in there?

One last look around, you spot a small white stone on the ground. You pick it up, because it is almost beckoning you and as you turn it over you can feel an indent in it. The indent is in the shape of an uppercase “L”.

Some old, rusty gears in your brain start up and an old memory, long forgotten, or at least assumed to be forgotten, is sparked.

“I love going to the beach Dave! I used to go all the time with my Dad when my Nana owned a cottage on the beach front. We would walk up and down the beach together and try to find cool treasures. One day, he picked up a little white stone and said that it was good luck, and you knew by the “L” on it! Neat, right? I hope to find one again. I never knew where our good luck stone ended up. Maybe we can find one together and it will be our good luck stone, Dave!”

A warm, familiar but unfamiliar voice rang out in your mind. It was accompanied with a bright smile and the bubbly feelings of love that make your stomach flutter. Suddenly you wanted to cry again, no, you wanted to scream. Your eyes blur and you almost drop the lucky stone as your voice acts before your brain.

“I miss him so much. Where was he taken to?” You suddenly yell out into the cave, even though there is no one there to listen to what you have to say. Every syllable echoes and bounces off the walls and clashes back into your ears.

Everything you shouted felt foreign on your tongue, and you didn’t know what any of it meant. There were so many things you couldn’t explain that have been happening since The Accident. Void memories such as these ones, with a voice and smile without a name, and your sudden phobia of the ocean. 

“What. What the fuck. What the.” You start rambling before to quickly turn away from the mouth of the cave and start your long journey back up the beach to where your family was. It has been quite some time since something has triggered a phantom memory. You break out into a run and push up your shades so they don’t fall down your nose and reveal your puffy eyes.

The sun has started to set when you make it back to where your family was situated on the beach. Mom, Bro, Dirk, Roxy, and Rose are packing up the stuff when you arrive. Bro turns to you and hands you your now lukewarm juice and you just take it with a silent nod.

Everything is efficiently packed away back into the trunk of the car and you are all piling into the car. Mom turns the keys in the ignition and the radio starts blearing “Talk Dirty To Me” and as Roxy and Mom are freaking out, the rest of you all roll your eyes. Dirk even hides under his towel muttering something about “how shitty music is these days.” 

“What did you say, punk?” Roxy elbows Dirk and a whine of protest comes from under the towel. “That is what I thought.” She triumphantly smiles and gives Dirk his personal space back.

The radio is turned down (“Turn down for what?!” Roxy exclaims. Dirk groans.) and the rest of the trip is spent in a comfortable silence. Everyone in the car seems to be winding down from a nice day of tanning, swimming, and relaxing at the beach. You, on the other hand, are still fidgety and an anxious feeling is still flooding over you like the waves flooded the shore line. Grasping your lucky stone, you try your hardest to make something out of the memory that was sparked by the odd stone and what you had said, but you come up with nothing. You head just feels like it is full of static when you try to put an identity to that voice and smile. Deflating with a sad sigh, you glue yourself to the side of the car and watch as the sunset paints the sky beautiful colours all the way home.

***  
Later that evening when you had all arrived home safely, you retreated to your room. Your brain was still going a thousand miles a minute and relaxing and taking a nap would probably do the trick. You load up a playlist of your mixes, pushing the ear buds into your ears. The music washes over you and the thrumming of the bass soothes out the stress and unease you had been burdened with all day. You turn over and get into a comfortable position, and soon you are lulled to sleep.

***  
“I miss you Dave. I think of you every day and miss everything about you. I hope to see you soon!” A silvery voice you have never heard before calls out to you. Why would they miss you if you don’t even know who they are? That said, who is there calling out to you? 

You try opening your mouth to speak and your vision is flooded with a cloud of bubbles. What? You finally take a minute to assess where you are. When you try to move your movements are sluggish, the fabrics of your clothes fluttering about as you come to the conclusion you are under water. Even as you make this conclusion, there is not a single sign of the terror you had today towards the ocean. Huh. If anything, you feel at peace. 

“Come find me Dave! I need your help!” You forgot that there was someone talking to you. You try to look in their direction, but they are already gone with a wisp of long, beautiful blonde hair that falls down their whole back and the shimmering of what looks like a green tail that shines like the sun.

You get frustrated. Your voice still doesn’t come, only more bubbles escaping your lungs as you try to call out to the mysterious figure. You really need to talk to them! They need to be answering all the questions running wildly through your head! Now you try to pursuit them, moving your limbs crazily in some mockery of swimming. It looks and feels like you are frozen in place though, because even if you move forward you don’t get any closer to them. Soon they disappear completely in the distance. 

Your lungs start to seize up, and they start to feel like they have been set on fire. Is this what drowning feels like? You start to panic and you have reconsidered that the ocean still sucks. Yup, it is not peaceful at all. You try to breathe in but only more water fills your lungs. As your eyes start to go blurry, you see one last figure approaching. Are they coming to save you? Is that mermaid, at least you think they were a mermaid, coming back to save you? You open your eyes one last time and notice no, they are not going to save you. Their black hair is unlike the hair of the mermaid who was asking for your help before. It swallows you up like smoke and the final thing you see before everything goes black is their malicious, sharp toothed smirk.

***  
You sit straight up as you wake up in a cold sweat, gasping. There are shivers wracking through your body, shaking you like a leaf. Your hands are running through your sweat-damp hair, probably making it stick up worse than it usually is after a bed-head-inducing nap. Your lungs still burn, the feeling lingering from the grand finale of your nightmare. As you attempt to catch your breath, you wipe the sweat that accumulated on your forehead. 

There is a knock at your door that is sudden and loud. “Dave, it’s Rose. Just checking on you to make sure you are alright. Are you ok? May I come in?” Rose’s voice comes from the opposite side of the door.

“Uh, yeah. And yes, you can come in.” You croak. Clearing your throat, you watch Rose enter the room on quiet feet. She closes the door behind her and then makes her way over to your bed cautiously.

“Rose, I am not going to kill you. It’s just me, Dave. The same old Dave that was at the beach with you today, soaking up the sun. Working on my tan. Oh god, did I burn? I better not have burned, you know how bad-“ 

“Dave!” Rose cuts you off mid-sentence. 

“Rose.”

“Are you sure you are ok? I mean, you were acting strange at the beach today too, and you look like someone just dragged you through hell and back.” She gives you a sad, worried look. “Do you want to talk about it? Is now a good time?”

“Y-yeah.” Your voice gives out, leaving you literally speechless. You don’t know how to start this feelings jam with Rose. 

“So… How were you feeling about going to the beach?” Rose starts the conversation for you. You flinch and grimace, and she most definitely picks up on that and your body language.

“I was so scared. I don’t know why. I just knew something bad has happened, but I can’t remember what. It is just a swirling black void in my memory. Like someone literally went into my brain, and ripped those memories out. Except I still know and feel the emotions.”

“Dave…” now her voice cancels out on her. You face her for the first time, and notice the tears forming in her eyes. 

Rose crying does something to you. She isn’t one for crying in front of others, so the emotion she is showing you right here, right now is overwhelming. When her walls come down, leaving her bare and vulnerable, it is like destroying the foundation to a building.

“You don’t remember him do you?”

“What? Who?”

“You don’t remember John do you?” She spits out in anger that is not directed towards you, but another deity that has done her and the world wrong. “You loved him, Dave. But when you got into the car crash, leaving you in a coma…” She trails off into a sob. You reach for her, opening your arms, inviting her to you. You pull her to your chest, and feel her shaking.

She takes her face out of her hands, revealing her wet, puffy eyes and spidery, damp lashes. “John died. They never even found his body. God… Do you remember what he looks like?”

You try to recall this “John” person, but you pull a blank. “No.”

Her small figure racks with sobs again, and you can feel the wet spot on your shirt forming where her tears are getting on your shirt.

“Dave. Wait here.” She gets up quickly, rubbing her eyes. She retreats from your room before returning with a photo album in her hands.

“This was a scrapbooking project John, Jade, and I were making for you for your birthday. We started early, wanting to make a scrap book of all the memories we were going to make together this year. We only just got started, too, but then The Accident happened.” New tears are staining her cheeks, she hands over the book to you with shaking hands. She settles close to you as you turn to the first page.

The page is covered in many different coloured writing, all of different styles. There is the recognizable lime-green, loopy writing of Jade, the clean penmanship that can only belong to Rose in purple, and then a messy blue scrawl you don’t recognize.

“Hey Dave!!! Happy birthday dude!!! :D” 

“Dear brother, I wish you well on the day of your birth. Stay cool, Rose.”

“To the silly gay butt I call my best friend. Have a good one and don’t forget me when you’re famous.” The last message is written in the striking bright blue ink.

You turn the page, and you are met with pictures of you and your friends and family and New Years. You remember everything (well, mostly everything. You did steal a glass or two of alcohol) from those pictures, but you are set amiss by one face. The dorky, buck toothed face that belonged to “John”.

“So this is John?” Rose nods weakly as you continue to analyze the rest of the pictures that decorate the page. You can pick out your Mom dancing with Bro, who both look more than tipsy, Roxy trying to get Dirk to smile (and succeeding), Jake high-fiving Jade as they both hold microphones to what you assume is a karaoke set, and then a final picture of you with your arm around John on the couch.

“You guys were the closest out of our little group made up of Jade, John, you, and I. Everyone used to joke about when you were finally going to propose to John.” This catches your attention, and makes your face heat up with embarrassment. Rose gives a weak chuckle.

“I don’t remember him at all.” And that is not a lie. It’s like his whole existence is affected by the black, memory-blocking void.

“I was afraid you were going to say that, even if it was inevitable.” Rose says with a bittersweet look to the scrapbook spread across your laps. 

“Sorry.”

You both continue to flip through the pages until there are none left to look at.

**Author's Note:**

> Some criticism is appreciated! This is the first time posting I've posted such a length of writing and some pointers would be cool > , >  
> my main tumblr is ghostbusters2mmorpg.tumblr.com, so you can drop a message there!


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